What’s the relationship between money, sex and leadership?
“Money, money, money. Must be funny in a rich man’s world.” The popular song from ABBA, yes I’m Swedish, and if you are not familiar with this song, I suggest that you go and check out the lyrics. This music popping up in my head when thinking of money is reminding me what it means to grow up and how we are unconsciously creating a belief system around what it means to make money. What was your attitude towards money as a child? Is money for you? Do you deserve to earn money? Do you have the money you want?
Our perception of how we think about money starts early in our childhood. For me, my childhood experience could be easily summarized: Money is not for me, it’s for others. In particular men. It’s an asset for a woman to have a man, in particular if he is rich. Let’s just hope that he would be nice, because what we learned from Walt Disney’s World is that money creates the greedy and evil. Not surprisingly, being brought up as a proud representative of the Swedish welfare state based on the notion of equality in the social democratic state. As such my parents were the ideal representatives of the working class. Every year on Labor Day we demonstrated for labor rights. My mother retired in her 30’s, due to a severe pain caused by the monotonous office work she had. My father was a truck driver and the President of the Union. For natural reasons, everything related to money was, for me, combined with the idea of what it meant to work hard and have pain. There was no whatsoever contact with people who had a business or who, in other ways, were self-employed bringing in their own income. People that had success with money were alien to me.
The sad truth is, I had no idea how this upbringing impacted my life until it came to the day when I committed to the idea that I was going to create a self-sustainable business. Self-sustainable in the sense that I can financially support myself and employ others, building a team around me that complements what I do. A team that would make my life easier, taking care of all the particulars that need to be handled in the business I want to create. It’s hard to believe that it came to a point where I had to realize that my lack of progress could be tracked back to the early experiences from my childhood. Experiences that had, in fact, been stopping me from getting what I wanted.
One part of this can be traced down to what it means to be in resistance. Resistance to fully own your power. One important component of this is what it means to acknowledge yourself. What is your self-worth? How do you see yourself as a woman or as a man?
How you are with money is how you are with everything in your life. I had no idea how I was with life, until I started to work with the deepest communication that we as human beings can have; the one you have to the bottom core of yourself. This is to be found in the area of sexuality.
As the first certified Orgasmic Meditation trainer in Europe, I’ve learned what it meant to be a pioneer spreading the word of female orgasm, but also what it means to speak for myself, my needs and desires, and how to communicate this in intimate relationships. When you start to explore your orgasm, you are exploring your feminine power. In the bottom core of being, feminine is learning what it means to receive.
As individuals, we are representing different sexual personality types. This means that how you are being when you are sexually aroused will show up in other areas of your life. Usually this takes the expression of a toxic sexual energy. Sex is a basic physical need and works like hunger. If you haven’t been eating for a while, you may not feel hunger. Still, you need the nutrition that comes with food, right? In my own training, I learned that I was the personality type we would call ‘dissipated’. As such, I was easily checking out from life, and often in heated conversations.
One expression of this is how I went to a three day workshop on money with the business coach I had at that time in my life. This was a long time ago, before I started to work in the area of sexuality. In that time, the conversation of money stirred up such emotions in me that I passed out. At the end of the first day, I was so sick that I couldn’t come back for the continuation. Today, I understand that I was in such emotional pain that my body couldn’t function.
This is just one indication how we need to go deep in order to heal ourselves. There is a vibrational shift that needs to happen. I’ve learned the depth of what this means when I started to work with sexuality. When you have sexual healing, you will open up to a new kind of communication that takes place from the inner core of yourself. Here you will discover your shadows. It is those shadows that are stopping you from progressing the way you want in your business or life.
Today I help women to embrace and expand their courage to be unstoppable. I teach them the power of what it means to say yes to open up and explore their orgasm. When a woman is stroked on the particular spot on her clitoris, the part that has 8,000 nerve endings concentrations, she will experience the shame, pain and unconscious shadows that are underlying in her sexuality. It’s like the fast path to healing yourself.
And if you feel uncomfortable just by reading this, it means there is something here to work with. By learning to receive and experience your capacity to be in a fully receptive mood, you will learn what is also stopping you from getting what you want. Irrespective if this is money or relationships.
From an energetic point of view, the second chakra in your body is holding the tensions of how you are being in relationship to your sexuality and money. It is all tied together in the sense that your ability to enjoy and live your sexuality is an expression of your own self-love and self-worth. In order to attract money, you have to love yourself in the same way you love money. If you have a dissonance with creating a loving relationship, there will also be a dissonance with how you attract money into your life.
It’s therefore time to change the paradigm of what money means and how it is an important implication for leadership. When you have money, you can take your leadership to a whole new level and start to create what you want to see happen in the world. For me, that is the ultimate freedom to be able to contribute to a better world, whatever that may mean to you.
For many women, money has been something that they find themselves being dependent on, instead of experiencing the freedom of what it means to have an abundance. Many women entrepreneurs are dependent on the income of a husband. As a result they are not choosing to progress in their business because they fall back on the dependency rather than committing to themselves to creating what it takes to build an income that is self-supportive.
In the final end, dependent relationships cause struggle and tensions in the partnership. Dependency creates guilt and shame and burdens the relationship. The first thing these women needs to understand is the power of what it means to invest in themselves and work with a coach that can help them to heal their inner game around money.
Someone said that money is the last thing you are working on, the last break-through you need to master in order to be successful. Yet it is something you always need to work on in order to grow your business out to the next level outside your comfort zone. Mastership is about clarity and direction with purpose and passion. Therefore it’s so important to know what you want, also with your business.
If you have no visions for what you want, if you don’t know what motivates you to make money, then you are not going to take yourself into the constant development needed to heal your unconscious trauma and pattern of beliefs that are connected with your second chakra. Here is where you find the root of your shadows and taboos that is related to issues of sexuality, money and relationships.
Sexuality is an expression of life force energy. Therefore, it is very important to know your purpose. When your purpose is clear, you can direct this life force energy towards what you would desire to see happening throughout the world. In that sense, money is not something that exists as an item exclusively of the rich. It is also a way of how you, as a woman, have the capacity to generate and manifest an expression of who you are as a vibrant orgasmic being.